Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Love the One your with...

As Bill Sees It

Love Everybody?, p. 230

Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many. As for the remainder--well, we have really disliked or hated them.

We A.A.'s find we need something much better than this in order to keep our balance. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody at all, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.

We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had formerly shown none.With those we dislike we can at least begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way at times to understand and help them.

My internet wasn't working all day on Monday. Not really -- I accidentally switched off my connection on my laptop... That's what I call an oops-ahha moment. Because when I finally logged on at 3am, I read exactly what I needed to read.

Yes, I know what you're thinking... it's just like those people that claim to look at the clock at the same time of day all of time -- Mine's 10:29 (my daughter's birthday); what's yours?

Back to Recovery...
Like everyone else in this country, money is tight. Higher rent, college tuition, food -- it's getting harder to pay the bills. My ex-husband (daughter's father) hasn't paid a cent of child support since my daughter could speak, "Je suis tres bien" and before that... I could count the $60 payments on my fingers and toes with a piggy to spare. Let's just say I dislike him immensely.

I don't have a problem loving the people I love, but what about the people I don't love or disappoint me? Resentment is a very heavy load. Maybe if I start forgiving and loving the unloved in my life I can start loving myself?

Food for thought -- or at least an appetizer.


What do you think?


Dulce said...

Dear Susan,
Love is a hard topic to comment about as you have presented it. One tends to refer to it only when thinking about (good) men and our children... well that's my case. My ex husband hasn't given me any money since... (?) But I do not hate him for that because I know now I LOVE him, because he is the best father in the world and , not being in love with him, admitting I just cannot bear his companion... is just it. But i know this Love is more real, cause I do not expect anything in return...
Well, I've told you the story of my life from my very first time here!
I love your blog and what you present and put people to...
Thanks for visiting mine
Be my follower if you like. I'll follow yours for sure.
Smiles :)

Lou said...

I try to avoid those I dislike. I think loving everyone is impossible. But being courteous, then walking away is not. That's the best I can do.

Shadow said...

hiya, and thank you for your visit. you pose some interesting questions here... love everyone? i wouldn't even pretend to try. it's impossible. some you love, some you just can't. but that doesn't mean you cannot pay them the respect or the opportunity to voice their opinion, talk to them, etc. etc. but fortunately it remains your choice to disassociate from them and not HAVE to hang around with them. is that wrong? i don't think so... and it shouldn't affect your love for yourself either. after all, everyone has the right to individuality, right?!

Shadow said...

oh, your question "The darkness of the night -- your escape -- what does this mean to you?"

it means darkness is a good place to hide in, darkness provides shelter, darkness doesn't scare me, so that would be the obvious place to get away from it all, and after darkness follows the dawn, and dawn is hope and light...

Tall Karen said...

I had just written something on love and hate too...I have found my greatest relief has come in forgiving those who trespass against me. Harder than heck, but the reward is freedom!

Happy Anniversary to YOU! (belated)

Dulce said...

Lovely words Shadow always has and >I agree with her entirely.
By the way you also asked me a question “What does Awakening mean to you?”
I think it’s a bit paradoxical. For it’s clear She is not happy, but afraid… Afraid of realizing that what is near is not beautiful any more- so she wakes up from the dream of the young and starts seeing life as adults do (?)
Sweet Hug

Dulce said...

You've got this gorgeous blog, which says a lot about the great person you are, and so do I.Why is it so hard to believe? Continuous low self esteem....We women ( and teachers) have.
Here we are doing what living souls do, among many other things!
A pleasure
By the way how can we 'prove' we follow each other? cause you do not have one of those followers lists..(?)
Sweet hug

clean and crazy said...

what a great post, thanks for stopping by. i know what you mean about the "god shot" my daughters birthday is 10-29 as well!! wild huh. as far as loving people you dislike that is difficult to learn. i know for me it was like the a-ha moment of praying for people who are difficult at best to tolerate. i had a bad experience with another member in recovery and so I was discussing this with a friend of mine who was not familiar with the situation and she goes "Honey are ya prayin for her?" I sheepishly said, "well it is hard.." and she goes, mind you this is a gal deeply involved in service with double digit clean time, she goes "sweetheart, you don't know how many times I have started a prayer with ' God help that sick B#$#^"!! So now it is a little easier to start praying for those people, but it also helps me to let go of my feelings. It is still so very difficult to love people right where they are at. It does not mean i have to spend every waking moment, I can choose to not allow them to rent space in my head today, that is the personal power I have gained through step work, and mind you i am only on my first 7th step, so it has been quite a journey and I am eager for more. I think that is what our founding members had in mind was just remembering that we are not perfect and we were definitely no angels before we came into the program and we were loved until we could love ourselves. anyway thats all i got.

Dulce said...

Hi again friend.
Glad youve got your list now
To pic and become a follower I think you must be IN the blog not as a visitor to it.

Little M said...

I like your blog Susan. You are bright and introspective and a good writer. Thanks for sharing!

Cloudia said...

Your last line shows that you understand the liberating truth and are finding your way into it. KEEP Going!!!! Thanks fr teaching all of us here. Aloha my friend

Comfort Spiral

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

The last paragraph of "As Bill Sees It" is so powerful! Following that alone will disolve a lot of the resentment that we build up. Awesome post, love following your blog. Keep up the great work.