Waste Not -- Want Not

Walk In Dry Places

Waste Utilization
Releasing the past

Today the world faces seemingly insurmountable problems with solid and liquid waste. Communities struggle to find solutions as waste accumulates and space for disposal sites grows scarce.

As recovering people, we have a similar problem with waste residues from our past. We don't seem to be able to bury bad memories; like the physical waste in the environment, they come back to poison us.

The best answer is to use waste, not throw it away. Instead of trying to bury the past, let's keep it in view but let it be purified by the sunlight of honesty and humility. By admitting past wrongs and forgiving everyone involved.... including ourselves..... we turn waste into useful experience. Nature can do this with much physical waste, over time. we can also let our spiritual nature do that with the emotional and mental waste of our past.

I'll realize that every past mistake and experience can be properly utilized today for something good and uplifting.

*** Warning *** Semi-Adult Content

ME?

Sue, why the heck are you talking about WASTE today?

Ha, I thought the same thing, but this daily brings up important points that can assist in my recovery.

Often, I ask myself, "How did I get this way?"

As the topic states, the problems, resentments -- the waste -- accumulated in our past are the poisons that feed our disease. They are the dukie that clogs the pipes of our lives. They are the backup that stops-up our progress.

Ah, I'm a poet and didn't know it.

Sue, how do I get past these plumbing problems?

I'm glad you asked... the answer is D-N-R...

Do Not Resuscitate?

No silly, DIVE - NAVIGATE - RECYCLE

Dive - Delve into your past and present -- discover and attack the poison.
Navigate - Direct the poison -- Release the bad and Redirect the good.
Recycle - Recycle the good that comes from the bad.

Sue, how can good come from bad?

As the saying goes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Even though bad is bad (and sometimes very bad), good can always come out of it -- learning from your past and sharing your experience, strength and hope with others.

Enough said -- I'm off to dive into the murky waters of my past. Does anyone out there know CPR?

Sue

To my READERS: If you have a quote, song or blog/site that you would like featured on my blog, you can email me at susanmdeangelis@yahoo.com

What are your thoughts on WASTE and D-N-R?

Balance -- Step on the Scale, please...

Keep It Simple

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.
---Friedrick Nietzsche

All of us have a child inside. We may see that child as a friend or as a enemy. Many of us were taught that growing up meant doing away with our inner child. It was as if being a child was bad and being an adult was good.

If we try to be only an adult, the child cries, ”Let me run free and show you the beauty of the world.” If we try to be only a child, we find the adult in using us saying, “It’s time to grow up.”

Let’s find a balance. Remember, the adult needs the wonder found in the eyes of the child. Remember, the child needs the loving care of the adult. The child lives where we find our spirit. Our Higher Power is the prefect balance of the two.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be both the child and the adult. I need both.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll make time to be a child and to be an adult.

ME?

Nietzsche -- brings back memories of a course I took as an undergraduate in college -- existentialism. Although I enjoy philosophising, I agonized through this course.

When I signed up for the course, I didn't even know what existentialism meant. My Motivation for enduring lectures on the obscure meaning of life, death and the intermittent? No classes on Fridays!

Ah, the warped mentality of an addict.

Although the famous philosopher's statement is sexist, I do agree we should embrace and nurture our inner child. For some of us, however, we regress, and have difficulty finding the balance.

Balance... if it were easy, why would we coin the phrase 'balancing act'?

I see things in either bright neon or black and white.
I think north and south or east and west -- polar extremes.
I still can't have just one -- and that's not just potato chips.
A day does not go by that I don't question my existence and wonder whether I should live or die.

I was told in early recovery the more I find peace, the less my moods and desires would swing. The more I drift away from the program and a spiritually sound lifestyle, I have come to believe the fellowship was correct.

Will I ever become a balanced individual?

NOW: Susan = Susan + /Susan

= American's Next Top Model + Little Women
= single cheese & fries + grilled chicken salad
= Pessimist + Optimist
= superficial + cerebral
= Playful + grounded
= runaway + role model
= selfish + selfless
= hopeless + hopeful
= hopeful + hopeless
= child + adult

GOAL: Susan = A Balanced ME

Sue

For my Followers: G wasn't at the game, nor did I expect him to be. But I'll keep you posted (wink and a smile).

What's your equation and how do you create Balance in your life?

Attraction -- Watch your step... First one is a Doosey

Daily Inspirational Quotes

"Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful."
--Norman Vincent Peale

ME?

Yesterday, I did as promised. I put on a happy face for my daughter at the field hockey game and was a semi-success. Today, however, is round 2, the field hockey tourney. This time, it's much longer -- a three way -- and not the good kind (oops sorry, just kidding, my bad).

I'm feeling a little frisky this morning.

Maybe it's because I saw a glimpse of my former self yesterday, the good social butterfly self. Mingling was my forte when I was boozin' it. And luckily, it's one of the qualities that has remained in sobriety.

Maybe I'm feeling this way because I felt something stir inside me at the game -- a feeling that has been dead for quite some time.
My confession? I felt an attraction for a man -- a man that I will call G.

SCENE: Sunday, at my daughter's field hockey game -- I'm standing at the Team Merchandise table, embarrassed for leaving my wallet and checkbook home. The unfriendly woman behind the table has a very heavy accent -- maybe Lithuanian. When asked the price of the tee-shirts, it sounds like she said $50.

G: How much are the tee-shirts? (said to me with my back turned)
Susan: I think $15. (I turn around)
\Susan: Wow, he looks like a cross between McSteamy on Grey's Anatomy and Anderson Cooper... And Bonus -- no wedding ring.
G: Fifteen sounds better than fifty. (he smiles)
\Susan: Say something clever, Sue... say something clever.
Susan: Are you nuts? I look like a stand in for Orville the pig from Green Acres.

Susan giggles then shuffles away.

Susan: Yeah, fifteen sounds much better.

ENDSCENE

As a woman who used to overlap boyfriends and engagements, it's inconceivable that I haven't been in the company of the opposite sex for the high end of triple digits. Feeling unattractive, the last thing I want to be is touched.
Another confession? Even when I had 5% body fat, I used to insist on making love in darkness equivalent to a solar eclipse.

When G spoke to me, something erupted inside, like a dormant volcano disturbed from its slumber. And I realized, yet another tragic aspect of enabling my disease -- the absence of romantic love .

Okay, enough of this Harlequin talk.

Today, I started my day with a thimble full of hope rather than a pocket full of sour grapes. The sun is shining -- it's still a beautiful day.

Sue

For my Readers: Thank you ALL for your wonderful comments and encouragement. You fuel my desire to complete my project.

How did you start off your day?

Selflessness -- You want me to do WHAT?

Daily Inspiration

Life has a way of working itself out if you simply make the best of this moment, one moment at a time. Lord, You have given me this moment.

Grant me the wisdom to live it in a way that will make a difference for me and for those around me. No one has ever asked of God and not received an answer.

Lord, bless me with quiet resolve to hear You and wisdom to accept Your Will.


ME?

Today, I've got to wipe myself off, give my kicks a spit shine and head over to my daughter's first college field hockey scrimmage. Help!

SCENE: Sue's conversation with her daughter, M, the day before the game.

M: So Mom, the coach is looking forward to talking to you at the tailgate party after the game.
Susan: Me, why does she want to talk to me? (she says defensively)
M: It's about fundraising, the Europe trip next summer... you know you're going to have to mingle with all of the parents, right?

As Susan watches her daughter leave the room, her heart begins to pound faster and faster.

Susan: What am I gonna say? Worse, what am I gonna to wear? Is it possible to lose 40 pounds overnight? Why can't I just stay home and have one of her friends videotape the game for me?
/Susan: Now stop it, Sue. Don't let your disease ruin your daughter's special day. Not everything is about you.

Susan takes a deep breath. She knows what she has to do.

Susan: Hey M -- (she shouts to her daughter's room down the hall) -- don't worry. I'll wow 'em tomorrow.

ENDSCENE

Yes, I had one of my Carrie moments..."They're all gonna to laugh at you; they're all gonna laugh at you; they're all gonna laugh at you."

Today, I'll change into my Wonder Woman costume and keep the Daily Inspiration in my head and heart throughout the day's events.

Sue

Wish me Luck!

What have you done lately that is completely selfless?

Beauty's Only Skin Deep...

Keep It Simple

Beauty is not caused. It is.--- Emily Dickinson

Probably, there have been many times when we thought we weren’t beautiful. We thought we were ugly. We thought we were bad people. This is a natural part of addiction. Our program tells us we’re good, we’re beautiful. Do we believe this? Do we accept this part of the program?

Beauty is an attitude, just as self-hate is an attitude. We need to keep the attitude that we’re beautiful. We owe it to ourselves and to those around us. And, yes, it’s true that you must love yourself before you can love others. Remember, ours is a selfish program. We have to love and see ourselves as beautiful, before we can give it to others.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me claim my beauty. Help me to see that, sometimes, I have to be selfish to grow.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll work at falling in love with myself.


ME?

Lately, whenever I see a mirror, I run by quickly, hoping to avoid my refection like the plague. This morning, however, I was short a few strides and caught a glimpse.

"Uh, mirror, mirror, on the wall, what the hell happened to me?"

It's not that I haven't noticed my clothes are tight -- it's like stuffing 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound bag. I guess by avoiding that mirror, I could maintain the illusion that I don't look that badly.

Sadly, that prolonged backward glance in my full length bedroom mirror did confirm my once toned body was on a cruise to nowhere. And my once so full of life personality, bubbling with nauseating enthusiasm and fake confidence, was lost at sea.

One of my readers commented when you fix the inside, the outside will come. I have come to believe that is so very true. Apparently, the comments left on my blog, reading the blogs and conversing with others as had a positive effect on me.

Today, I plan to do something about it.

Today, I'm not going to just whine about change; I'm going to try to change.
Today, I will begin to cleanse my body and start a new healthy regiment.
Today, I will begin my weight loss project and strengthen my body.
Today, I will continue to work on my insides by writing, reading and reaching out to others.

Today, I will try and embrace me for me.

Sue

Baby steps first -- I must keep in mind that it's progress not perfection.

What are your feelings on beauty and change?