Rifampin - What the #^%@?

Anybody have any side affects with this drug?

Me? Dizzy, fatigue, nausea, severe headaches and brain burn. I think my chest is burning too.

Please Share.

Lyme Sucks!

D. S.

I'm Back

I haven't blogged for a while. Still sober, thank my higher power -- 11.5 years now.

I've been sick, very sick. I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease which had gone undetected for ten years. It's infiltrated all of my joints, muscles but sadly, it attacked my brain.

I haven't been able to teach this year in a high school classroom. Most days, I don't leave the house. It's too painful. So I write, read and in between headaches, I write some more.

I welcome all who choose to follow my journey TeacherWithLyme.blogspot.com

Lyme Sucks.

D.S.

WHITNEY HOUSTON DEAD

I am 48. I am a Recovering Addict. I am Fragile... I am a teacher...
She was 48. She was sick. She was Fragile...
Let Whitney be a teacher as well.
Need I say more?

My heart aches... R.I.P. Whitney xoxoxoxox
Hugs, Sue

Honesty... It's a Policy

We're taught to make amends for our wrongdoings -- and live our lives with kindness and honesty. I question, "Is honesty really the best policy?"

My mom always told me, "Susan, if you don't have anything nice to say. Don't say anything at all." With the exception of my critical self-analysis, I've tried to live my life that way. But am I wrong?

Are there degrees of honesty? Does it depend on the person or scenario?
When should we be honest?

What are your thoughts?
Hugs, Sue

SPECIAL REQUEST TO MY FRIENDS & READERS... I'm looking for a few readers to be honest about the first chapter of my book (It's very short -- 12 or so pages). I had a family member read it and said it was great. But that's family. I need an objective opinion.
Let me know in a comment, if you're interested in helping out.

Give up, giving up...

I am honored to report I made it to the Quarerfinals of the Bluecat Screenwriting Competition. Whoo!

No, I didn't write JAWS - that was the great Peter Benchley. And Steven something or other, directed the movie. I just liked the picture - lollll.
Okay, I'm not going to be shopping for knock-off designer red carpet dresses any time soon. But it sure does feel good working on something, without giving up.

Well... that's not entirely true. I almost gave up or what I fondly call pulled a "Sue", but I perserved. I'd like to give someone credit for mentoring me or pushing me to follow through, but it was all me this time. Or was it? Keep it real, Sue...

Can you share any time you were about to give up, but something or someone kept you going?

Hugs, Sue

I know it's been over a year, but I'm Back... Ready, Set... Share!

All work and no play makes Susie a verrrrry dull girl.

I was checking out at the supermarket the other day, near the gum, beef jerky and tabloid magazines. And there she was -- Amy Whinehouse. I made a comment... "That poor thing - so sad she didn't get it on time."

The woman behind me took offense. She said, "I'm so sick of hearing about these celebrity addicts. When someone dies overseas in the war, they don't get this much attention. We rarely hear about it."

Being a recovering addict, I jumped to Whinehouse's defense and immediately replied, "It's apples and oranges... You can't compare the two." I backed up my opinion by claiming these reports can worthwhile, even if it sways one person to get help.

When I got in my car, the woman's comment haunted me. Was she right? I thought?

What's your opinion?

Happy Anniversary to Me!

How the heck have all of my friends been. You might have thought I fell off the face of the Earth. But I'm back. Hoping all my friends are okay out there.

A couple of updates -- My friend did accomplish her goal -- she raised enough money to keep the scholarship going.

And as for me? I've been writing, reading, going to movies -- the things I love best.

Tomorrow will be 8 years clean and sober for me -- One Day at a Time.

I miss you all. And I hope to keep blogging.

Let me know if you're alright, need any help, or just want to shoot the s$#&...

Hugs and Happiness. xoxoxo Sue

A Special Request...

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I will find happiness in doing the right thing. I pray that I will find satisfaction in obeying spiritual laws.

No video or attempts at wit or humor today (well, maybe just a little)...
I have a special request for anyone who stumbles upon this post...

Anyone who really knows me is aware that I have serious difficulty asking for any kind of help. But today, like the prayer says, I am going to try to do the right thing. Today, I am going to really try to pay it forward.

Last June, my colleague Teri and I were at the end of year scholarship awards ceremony. And much to our dismay, we learned the scholarship set up for a former friend and teacher that suddenly passed away at a young age just a few years ago, had just run out of funds.

Apparently, this bad news must have been stewing in my friend Teri's brain. Because after she started reading my blog, she came up with an idea of her own. She started writing articles, as some of you might have seen on this blog, and planned to keep the scholarship alive with any revenue from the articles. So far she's made about 17 cents.

"If I can earn just a few pennies an article per month, I can do this," she said enthusiastically on Superintendent's conference day.

Yesterday, after work, even though I'm behind on my own work and blogging, I helped her set up a blog for her cause. I told her that I would do anything in my power to get the word out for her Pay it Forward Project.

So today, I humbly ask all of my friends and followers to...
*Visit her blog and subscribe
* surf her articles
*perhaps put her widget on your blog (you can grab it from my blog or hers)

I ask you to be a part of this rewarding pay it forward project.

If each and everyone of you that reads this, asks three of their friends to help out, and they tell three friends -- this might just work.

I love you guys... thanks for listening. And thanks for keeping me sober. xoxoxo

Sue

So you see, kindness really is contagious...

Can you please help Teri pay it forward? Visit her Blog

Talent -- Watch out Kanye West, I'm back...

Daily Inspiration

Talent is the ability to do easily that which others find difficult.

Lord, help me to recognize and value the abilities that I have been given and use them gratefully.

Simple trust in God is all that is required to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Lord, I love You. I trust in You. I am Your child.


Pay It Forward -- even though I'm struggling with these flu-like symptoms, I got up, went food shopping, cooked a pot roast then planted myself on the couch. When my daughter got home from college, she paid it forward by cleaning the place up.

ME?

My talents? I'm not sure... does being able to tie a cherry stem with my tongue count? Perhaps it's working well with weak, troubled students. Is that a talent? Hmmm, I'll have to think about that...

I truly believe I witnessed true 'talent' on television while watching the MTV music video awards last night.

A young country-pop singer, Taylor Swift, won an award for best female performance. While starting her acceptance speech, Kanye West , another artist, interrupted on stage adding his added his two cents that Beyonce should have won the award. (watch his ridiculous behavior in today's video).

But it wasn't until the end of the awards ceremony did I witness true talent, professionalism and kindness. When Beyonce won the last award of the evening -- the prestigious Video of the year award -- she paused then said, "I remember when I was 17 years old with Destiny's Child and nominated for an MTV music award. It was the most exciting moment of my life..."

Beyonce Knowles

Then she asked for the humiliated Taylor Swift to please come back onto the stage. Beyonce gave her moment in the spotlight to the young nineteen-year old rising starlet -- stepping back and allowing her to finish her acceptance speech.

Clearly God was doing his work through the superstar. Now, that's what I call real talent.

Sue

To my Readers: I went back to work last week (teaching high school). Between prepping for the 2 new classes and this horrible haunting cold, I've had difficulty bloggin this week. Thanks for all of your emails and messages. Hugs... xoxoxo

What are some of your talents?

Security -- I want my Blankie!

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may go each day to God as a refuge until fear goes and peace and security come. I pray that I may feel deeply secure in the Haven of His spirit.

***I got a little giggle out of this one***

Pay it Forward for Yesterday: Even though I'm still under the weather, I got up early and made ziti for my daughter's after game tailgate party. I'm not saving the world with this stuff, but it's a start.

ME?

Instead of going to God when I have a little paper cut, I usually wait too long -- until my arm is severed and I'm bleeding to death. Ha, I think that video had more of an influence on me than I realized.

I think I used to feel that relying on God for every little thing showed weakness. But I don't believe that anymore. I know now it shows faith.

If I can't rely on my higher power for warmth, comfort and protection, then who can I rely on?

Sue

Short and sweet today because the prayer says it all. Happy Labor Day to All!


What do you think about today's prayer?

Live my life to the What?

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may live each day as though it were my last. I pray that I may live my life as though it were everlasting.

*** You couldn't get me to do this in a million years***

PAY it FORWARD for Yesterday: I won the 50/50 at my daughter's game and donated it back to the team even though I really could have used it.

ME?

I always love a good prayer. What prayer can be bad, right?

(PEE or Applejuice -- Life's Eternal Mystery)

Well, today's daily prayer -- I had a trouble with it. Before I became sober, that's exactly how I lived my life -- as if each day were my last. Look where that mentality almost got me... in a coffin, nearly taking some others with me.

Sue, I don't think the prayer means that... The key is Everlasting. You must live your life each day with the light of your Higher Power as your eternal guide.

Since I'm still confused, I'm decided to change the prayer to something more comfortable for me:
Live today with all the kindness, forgiveness and grace that I would muster as if I knew it were the day I was going to meet my Maker.

It's okay to change a prayer, right?

Sue

What did you think of today's prayer?

Hurt -- Pull the Bandaid off fast, please...

Daily Inspiration

To be completely at peace, avoid hurting anyone for any reason. Lord, I will act with kindness and when others are hurtful to me, I will focus on Your presence within them to give me courage to respond gently.If we spend time thanking God for the good things in our lives, we won't have time to do so much complaining.

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of life and the many things that bring me joy.

*** Don't fib -- I know you watched it too... lol ***

Pay it Forward for Yesterday: I've been feeling under the weather with flu-like symptoms. But rather than sit on my butt all day long, I did some research for a colleague for a new course she'll start teaching next week. Not much, but she really appreciated it.

ME?

Hurt so good (singin') -- come on baby, make it hurt so good. Oops, wrong topic.


Is there anything more difficult than to be kind to those that hurt us. I was taught that I had to let go of the resentments toward those that hurt me and to stop blaming them for my pain.


I've tried to teach, to my child and students, that those who hurt are usually hurting themselves. And we should feel sorry for those who lash out -- not anger and grudge.

Words are so easy to say -- to teach, but oh so difficult to live by.

Sue

I needed some extra inspiration today... Join me in a Spiritual Crossword Puzzle.

Can you forgive those who have hurt you?

Peace --You wanna piece of me?

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may do the things that make for peace. I pray that I may have a mission of conciliation.

***This Adam and Eve Commercial was Banned***

PAY IT FORWARD for Yesterday: I helped a disabled older woman put her groceries in her truck at the supermarket. At first she hesitated -- must have thought I was a wierdo. But we both parted with a smile.

Me?

I'm going to show my age here... Remember the song and video, We are the World. I recall watching that video and listening to that song with tears in my eyes. The world uniting together to promote world peace and stop hunger -- sigh.

I was so touched by this song. So I can't help wonder what happened to me. When did I lose that peaceful, easy feeling?

Me, me, me -- enough about me; Let's move on to the Daily Prayer.

Well, I'm not completely sure to what peace this prayer refers. When I think of peace -- the first thing that comes to mind is inner peace. But I ask myself, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg... inner peace or conciliation?"

Perhaps, the two work as a team -- hand in hand, complementing each other -- like Tom and Jerry or Laverne and Shirley.

One thing I know for sure... I can't begin to reconcile with others until I'm reconciled with me. So for now, my mission of conciliation is with me and my Higher Power.

Sue

Peace be with you all.

What is your opinion on inner peace and conciliation?

TO THE READERS: Thanks to a blogger friend... I have taken her suggestion to get outside myself and perform a random act of kindness each day.

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Love, Free Will, Acceptance, Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.

Kindness -- There is no ME in Kindness

Daily Inspiration

Today be kind and loving and expect nothing in return. When you lift your consciousness above the darkness, you will understand that the life of God is the only enduring life.

Daily Prayer: Dear God, open our hearts to be able to see you anywhere, anytime, in all the ways that you choose to be present.

***This one really made me smile. Take a lookie see.***

ME?

Someone from the program emailed me the other day. He wanted to be friendly and extend a helping hand to a fellow sufferer. His warm words and generosity truly helped me get through a very rough day.

Ah, one of the extreme benefits and joys I have received from this project.

After a few emails, I learned he had cancer and only a few months to live. When I read the Daily Inspiration, I thought of him.

Today, I'm going to perform at least 3 random acts of kindness discreetly and expect nothing in return. It is time I witness, first hand, God, present in my life.

One down -- two to go... lol...

Hugs,
Sue

How do you see your Higher Power present in your life?

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Love, Free Will, Acceptance, Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.

Memory -- All Alone in the Moonlight

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

"Every man's memory is his private literature."
-- Aldous Huxley

My memory is the key to my recovery. Spirituality is about "seeing" --seeing my life as it is, rather than how I imagined or hoped it would be. My pain belongs in my life because it is mine! Alcohol always works; but does it work for me or against me? My remembering helps me answer that question today and hopefully tomorrow.

Today's Prayer: Thank You, God, for allowing my yesterdays to forge my tomorrows.

***Memory, Magic or Destiny?***

Me?

Ingrid Bergman once said, "Happiness is good health and a bad memory." Well, for me, only half of this is true.

I realize that I have to remember the mistakes in my past.

I have to remember that woman that nearly ruined her daughter's communion party. She drank all the carafes of wine leftover on the tables then in front of her relatives, gave her fiance a lap dance using his tie as bondage.

That woman driver on the Taconic, the one who allegedly was driving under the influence. The one who drove the wrong way and killed all of those people -- all of those children. Dear God, I have to remember that woman could have been me.

I have to remember, because if I don't, I am likely to repeat those mistakes over and over again.

Unfortunately, as an addict, I tend to chew on a piece of meat until all the flavor is gone. It's important to remember the past -- learn from the past, but not dwell on the past or act like a victim.

Because when you dwell, it'll feel like you're in... Hello please operator, give me number nine...

Sue

"Touch the fire -- I get burned. Touch the fire -- I get burned. Aha, touch the fire -- I get burned!"


Do you have any memories you shouldn't forget? And did Criss Angel guess your card in the video?

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Free Will, Acceptance, Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.

Goals -- Be Careful what you Wish for cuz you just might get it...

Daily Motivator

The reason why You know what you must do. And yet how do you get yourself to do it? Again and again, remind yourself why.

With a strong enough reason why, you will be able to do anything at any time in any circumstance. If you're tempted to put off a task until later, remind yourself why you truly want to get it done. Put a powerful why behind it, and you'll find a way to do it now.

Real achievement demands many consistent, focused efforts spread over long periods of time. The way to keep it up is to keep it meaningful. Give your long-term intentions the opportunity to dispel the short-term, momentary urges. With a clear, solid purpose firmly in mind, you'll stay reliably on track. Whatever you choose to imagine can happen for you.

Constantly give your goals a sincere reason why, and you'll bring them steadily to life.
-- Ralph Marston


***Parody of Pussy Cat Dolls by Britney Houston Trannie Dancers***

ME?

I always found setting a goal can be easy. It's the following through that's the hard part.

More importantly than the goal, in my opinion, is the sabotage. Why do we often carefully plan our mission, start off gungho, then... KABLAM -- throw a monkey wrench into the mix.


I love the final sentence in this motivation -- constantly bring your goals to life. If we don't resuscitate our goals, who will? Yesterday, with the encourage of my friends in the blogosphere, I gave my goal a little mouth to mouth and I'm slowly getting back on track.

My mantra today will be in honor of our president Obama and the little engine that could... "Yes I can! Yes I can! Yes I can!"

Sue


She shoots; she scores -- GOAL!!



What are your goals in life?

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Free Will, Acceptance, Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.

Pain -- Why don't you like me?

Meditation For The Day

Try not to give way to criticism, blame, scorn, or judgment of others, when you are trying to help them. Effectiveness in helping others depends on controlling yourself. You may be swept away by a temporary natural urge to criticize or blame, unless you keep a tight rein on your emotions.

You should have a firm foundation of spiritual living which makes you truly humble, if you are going to really help other people. Go easy on them and be hard on yourself.That is the way you can be used most to uplift a despairing spirit. And seek no personal recognition for what you are used by God to accomplish.

Prayer For The Day: I pray that I may try to avoid judgment and criticism. I pray that I may always try to build up others instead of tearing them down.

*** an excerpt from Mean Girls ***

ME?

When I feel down, and after a day like yesterday -- eating unhealthy and arguing with my daughter -- I do feel down... I tend to beat myself up.

Today is a new day. My daughter and I are BFFs again, and woke up this morning, picked myself up and began another attempt at living with a healthy mind, body and spirit. I just hope my frustration quarterbacked by my disease will not create more misdirected anger at my seventeen year old.

Susan: This disease makes me feel weak and stupid -- just like when I'm watching Jeopardy and I try to answer questions more than $400. Who am I kidding... $200. This disease makes me feel...
/Susan: ...Stop it -- I can't take your whining anymore. Didn't you get anything from the meditation and prayer for the day?
Susan: There was a meditation and prayer for the day?

All kidding aside -- today is another day. And I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep reading and writing -- and praying. Because I truly believe, with perseverance, I can be saved. I know I'm not alone.

Sue

Today's question is a WORD ASSOCIATION... what's the first word that pops into your head when I say, "PAIN"?

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Love, Free Will, Acceptance, Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.

Love -- Give it away, give it away, give it away now...

Keep it Simple

Love is something if you give away, you end up having more.
--- Malvina Reynolds

Service is how we give love away. It’s the “self” of self-help. Service is not a duty; a gift that’s been given to us. We help ourselves by helping others. It’s how we make sure the program will be here tomorrow.

We “carry the message.” It’s just one way we see how important we are to others. The world needs us. The world needs our love.

Prayer for the Day: I pray for help in making service a big part of my program. Higher Power, help me to “carry the message.”
Action for the Day: Which people could use a kind word and a little love? I will go visit them or give them a call.


***Please note -- I am not affiliated with any blog/advertising***

ME?

I always found giving far better than receiving -- unless you're receiving a 2 carat princess cut in a platinum setting.

But seriously folks... Giving is one area that I am stronger than others -- in and out of the rooms. It's very important to me that carrying the message does is not restricted to members of the program or our faith.

Carrying the message could be
opening the door for someone,
slipping a friendly note in someone's lunchbox,
listening to a problem without judgement,
holding someone's hand or
simply making someone laugh.
Carrying the message can be done in silence by avoiding the urge to be mean, critical or belittling.

Yes, I know -- love is patient; love is kind. But love is also contagious -- like gonorrhea, but in a good way. Too far? So sorry.

Okay, I'll keep it brief. Today, I'm going to get out of myself and show everyone in my path some love. While I'm driving, I won't tell anyone they suck or flip them the bird. Maybe I'll even use one of my lifelines, take Stevie's Wonder's lead and pick up the phone to tell someone I love them.

Sue

I'm sending all my readers some love today, with a warm hug. Pay it forward, pay it forward, pay it forward, now.

How will you pay Love forward today?

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Free Will, Acceptance, Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.

Free Will -- There's always a fork in the road, a spoon or a steak knife...

Meditation For The Day

Breathe in the inspiration of goodness and truth. It is the spirit of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. It is readily available if we are willing to accept it wholeheartedly.

God has given us two things– His spirit and the power of choice – to accept or not, as we will.We have the gift of free will. When we choose the path of selfishness and greed and pride, we are refusing to accept God's spirit. When we choose the path of love and service, we accept God's spirit and it flows into us and makes all things new.

Prayer For The Day: I pray that I may choose the right way. I pray that I may try to follow it to the end.

ME?

Choices -- some are simple, like deciding to leave a lucrative programming career to teach high school math and raise my own daughter. Other decisions are more difficult, like deciding what 2 sides to get with my Turkey entree at Boston Market.

Regardless, I believe it is my choice -- my responsibility -- and depending upon the choices I make, my life might take a different turn.

Sue, do you really believe that you have that kind of control in your life?

Control? Ha, if I had control, I would be able to drink only 2 classes of Moet rather than 2 bottles at a sitting. No, it's more like I have the ability to choose my own direction. And my direction may determine the roads I travel in my life.

So, you don't believe in destiny or predetermination at all?

Wow, an extremely existentialist question before my morning cup of Joe. To simplify this multi-faceted topic, life is like a video game. Let's call it The DeAngelis House of Doom. I can muddle through, go left, right, up, down... I can take on a whole clan of zombies with only a half clip and a smile or bail out down some sewage pipes below.

My goal is the same -- to get to the end, win the game, while accumulating as many points as possible.

I still don't get it, Sue.

Zombie analogy too weird for ya? Okay, I believe no matter what choices we make during our lifetime, in the end, all roads lead to the same place. But the paths we choose and how we interact with others during our travels, define who we truly are as individuals.

Enough said. I have to decide what I'm going to do first this morning -- the laundry, food shopping, cleaning the house. No stress, if I don't get to it today, it'll get done eventually.

Sue

Help me decide -- scrambled or over easy for breakfast?

What is your take on Free Will and Destiny? What happened when you tried the Freaky Math Trick?

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Acceptance, Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.

Acceptance -- Is this gonna be Forever?

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may willingly submit to whatever spiritual discipline
is necessary. I pray that I may accept whatever it takes to live a
better life.

*** please note -- I am not affiliated with any advertisement ***

ME?

My version of The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to Accept I'm an alcoholic/addict,
the courage to Accept I'm an alcoholic/addict,
the wisdom to Accept I'm an alcoholic/addict.

See the pattern here?

Yes, you guessed it -- I have a huge issue with ACCEPTANCE!

Seven years ago, I came kicking and screaming into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, completely beaten down physically, emotionally and spirituality. Still, I was looking for a quick fix for my misery.

Ha, as most of you know, a quick fix would be like putting a bandaide on an amputation.

Whether or not you're an addict, letting go and letting God
-- truly letting go -- can be more difficult than...
* sitting through The Notebook without getting choked up.
* shopping at the Hershey Chocolate Shoppe during a 3 day fast.
* trying on bathing suits in an open dressing room.

Today, I accept that I have no control over the obsessions that plague me.
I accept that I must turn over control to a power greater than me.
And I accept and pray letting go of control will bring peace and serenity in my life.

To sum it up, I have to Accept+Submit+Relinquish=Serenity...

Sue

Just in case I get into trouble, my safe word is BANANA.

Do you have trouble with Acceptance?

Learn more about the Susan/Susan Recovery Project or visit posts on Change, Waste, Balance, Selflessness, Happiness/misery, or Imperfection.